Days Of Future Past

Ice Ice Baby...

"All right, STOP! Collaborate and listen...ICE is back with a brand new invention... "

A white boy with a hair-do which might have been the inspiration of the recent Gatsby commercial for hair gel, broke into the rap scene in the early 1990s. It was THE hit in those days; especially with the Ah Bengs and Ah Lians who frequent tea-parties and discos. Back then it was the 'in thing'.

'Ice Ice Baby' was one of the most cheesy rap songs ever. The reason why it is still so easy for one to pick up on even today is no big surprise. It latches itself rather sublimely in your mind so quickly and easily that it puts 'supercalifragilisticaspialidocious' 6 feet under. You could hear individuals rapping away incessantly, albeit one might very well only pick out the opening tune. "Deng deng deng...deng deng deng deng".

Oh, for the mother of cat poo. Maybe that started the slide and was the cause for such anger and violence in rap music these days. Somebody shoot...I meant shut that guy up. Then again...maybe in reality it was the angst of life's experiences in the 'ghettos'. The likes of 2Pac Shakur, P. Diddy, Ice-T, and Coolio emerged from their respective quarters and elevated 'Gangsta Rap'. These are the real 'Boys In Da Hood'.

Now presently there is another certain white boy who has usurped the throne. He is different from that of one named after an ice cream. This guy took over the mantle and named himself after some chocolate despite the rather obvious emphasis on the spelling. It seems like he's doing pretty well. He has the same opening tune to one of his songs too! The same "Deng deng deng deng...deng deng deng deng...", but to a different beat. Hint : 8mile soundtrack; instead of finding yourself, you 'lose yourself'.

Incidentally in the movie he shares the same surname as Bugs Bunny, but calls himself 'Rabbit'. "ZARKOWI!" (a new term of expression I picked up). How do these people come up with names like that?

Anyway, I apologise for such a long introduction in which has absolutely nothing to do with what I have to write about. I want to draw your attention towards the word 'Ice'.

A refreshing welcome on a hot humid day, but a treacherous nemesis on cold wintery months. When temperatures fall to as low as 20 degrees below zero, the paths and roads become draped with sheets of frozen and slippery water - ICE. Practically anything that produces kinetic energy and comes into contact with these surfaces simply just slip and slide. Yes, and I do mean anything.

Now, may I remind you that it is not SNOW I am talking about. Snow is fun! Not ICE.

Twice I emerged from my encounter with 'Ice' unscathed. First time it happened when I was treading carefully towards the Jeep. I had managed to negotiate the icy path successfully. A few seconds was all it took me. Triumphant, I reached out to open the door to the Jeep. Unknowingly, I had let my guard down.

An ambush! 'Ice' had left another apparent patch just right by the door where I had parked the vehicle! Like a scene reminiscent of Home Alone, I was slip sliding and clinging on to the door latch for life! My feet gave way and I literally ran as if on treadmill for at least 5-6 steps.

Had my workout that morning.

It felt like eternity...never did fall though...regained my footing and scrambled into the safety of the Jeep. "HA! You may have got me this time, but you'll never keep a good man down!" Shaking my head to clear my mind of that near-traumatic experience instead of my fist at 'Ice', I started up the Jeep and headed for work.

The next time it happened, 'Ice' did get me down. In fact, 'Ice' did wanted me to stay down. Ooo...EVIL! I stepped out of my apartment, and again was headed for the vehicle. It had snow very lightly the previous night, and the cold temperature froze the wet snow. Again I wasn't paying attention...and I got hit this time not in an ambush but right in the open. The very first step launched one of my foot upwards like a catapult my other foot off the front patio.

Again, never did fall. One hand cluthing my MP3 player, with my bag on my shoulders and my vision spinning, my instinct was to break that fall. And I did. My other free hand had kept my tooshie off the steps. It wasn't embarrassing though, found out that many other ordinary people like me are not popular with 'Ice' too. However, some had suffered a worse fate than me.

Ha! Hey, 'Ice'! Try picking on other people in sunny Singapore for a change. You will still get to see the Ah Bengs and Ah Lians...but I bet you are not man enough to take the heat.

posted by HanQiang @ 11:14 pm